Feelings
by HiyaItsHails
Summary: Feelings are confusing sometimes. When you truly love someone, you want them to be happy no matter what, even if it means hurting yourself in the process. Jessie learns this after helping James with his love life. ROCKETSHIPPY!
1. Infatuation

**Hiya! This story means more to me than some of the others I've written, mainly because it is based off of my personal experiences. My goal for this is to express how I felt through Jessie in a way that others might relate to as well. Some things will be similar to my experiences, while others won't. I'll be posting a chapter a day except for chapter twelve, which will be posted whenever I get it done. Hope you enjoy! Leave a review!**

**Summary: Feelings are confusing sometimes. When you truly love someone, you want them to be happy no matter what, even if it means hurting yourself in the process. Jessie learns this after helping James with his love life. ROCKETSHIPPY! **

It was an ordinary day, just like any other. James, meowth, wobbuffet and I were selling our homemade malasadas. It wasn't a very busy day, so we had quite a bit of free time between costumers.

I was just relaxing when another costumer came. She was not one of our regulars, in fact I don't think I'd seen her before. She looked to be about our age. She was short, had auburn coloured hair, freckles, and bright blue eyes.

From what I could see, James couldn't get enough of her. As he took her order, he was in some kind of trance. He was fumbling his words and blushing a lot. This behaviour was very out of the ordinary, and only meant one thing- he liked her.

Now, let me tell you, James was not the kind of guy to just fall for somebody so easily. His childhood experiences with Jessebelle have caused him to completely close himself off from love... until now. I couldn't help but smile as I watched him make a complete fool out of himself. It made me happy seeing him so happy. And it was nice to see him opening up despite his past.

Meowth was also finding the situation quite amusing. He kept looking at me with a bewildered expression, as if to ask is I was seeing what he was seeing.

Oh yeah, I was seeing it. That girl had a certain look in her eyes, bright and happy but at the same time deep and questioning. It seemed so familiar, but yet I had no idea where I had seen it before. She was definitely interested.

After giving her the malasada she ordered, he also gave her a free one. I was going to tell him off for the freebie, but something stopped me.

The mysterious girl then left. Just like that, the moment was gone and James was watching her leave sadly, never to be seen again. Not if I had anything to do with it.

"James, we're closing early tonight. You are going to talk to that girl." I say. Meowth is shocked for some reason.

James started blushing profusely. "What? Why?"

I smirked at him. "Oh, I think you know why..."

"I'm _not _going to ask that girl out."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Why not?"

James thought for a minute. _Why not? _"B-Because I'm not as confident as you are! I can't just go up to her and ask her out!" I looked at him with disbelief. If he liked her, he _should _just go up to her and ask her out. Surely she'd say yes if she liked him back, which she did. As if reading my mind, James blurted out: "fine." He then quickly left our malasada stand and started following the girl, as she was almost out of sight at this point. He managed to stop her and the pair was just barely visible to me.

I watched them as best I could from where I was. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the conversation went on for a solid five minutes. This was a good sign. They eventually parted ways and I noticed James doing his cute little happy dance as she left. A _very_ good sign_._

He practically skipped back to the truck, his face a _very_ deep shade of red. I laughed at him a for a moment before asking him how it went.

"Oh Jessie it went amazingly! We have a date tomorrow evening!" He said excitedly.

"Yay!" I say. "You're probably the only guy on this planet who could get a date in that outfit." I motioned to his bewear inspired uniform.

"Hol' on a second..." Meowth thought for a moment. "You're leavn' tomorra? Friday? Teh busiest day uddah week?"

"Yes Meowth, and you don't need to make him feel bad about it." I told him. I wasn't super enthusiastic about it, but I actually wanted to give him the day off, so he could have all the time he needed to prepare.

"Here" I handed him our wallet, which contained all of our small amount of money. "Buy yourself something nice to wear." I said. This whole situation made me so happy, I love love! James was finally ready to start dating again, and that girl seemed perfect.

Understandably, he looked a bit confused, as it wasn't like me to give James control over our money, unless it was for a pikachu plan. "You sure? Thank you so much!" He took the wallet and hugged me. "I gotta tell you more about her, she's great!"

He spent the rest of the evening talking about her. Apparently her name was Jenn. James would not shut up about how pretty she was, and how pleasant she was to talk to. She was pretty. She had a unique type of natural beauty that I don't really know how to describe. James has a great taste in women.

I continued to listen to him ramble about Jenn and about how thankful he was for the entire balloon ride back to home base, until we finally arrived. Then, the conversation shifted to starting a fire and getting some shuteye.

**That's it for now! Hope you enjoyed this so far! Expect updates daily! **

**Luv ya!**

**Buh-bye!**


	2. Lovesick

**Hiya! Welcome back! So uhh... this chapter starts off with Jessie dreaming in case there's any confusion. I had to look deep into my dream journal for reference for Jessie's dream, so I hope you enjoy! Feel free to review!**

_ I found myself in what looked to be a high school, which was heavily decorated with balloons and streamers. There was clearly some type of event going on, possibly a school dance. I looked down to see that I was wearing the most beautiful red dress. It was decorated with sequins and sparkles at the top, and the bottom was a silky flowy material that reached to just above my knees._

_I looked to my right and saw James and Jenn at the snack table. They looked so happy talking and laughing together. James was wearing a white suit, and Jenn was wearing a dress similar to my own, except it was baby blue and floor length._

_There are many familiar people and pokemon there. This included the twerp and all of his friends and pokemon, Biff and Cassidy, and some kids from our old biker gang. I walked up to James and Jenn and grabbed some punch while I talked to them. We all decided to head to the gym, as that was where the actual dancing was happening._

_We all danced a bit before a slow song began playing. As if on queue, James and Jenn began waltzing quite gracefully. _

_I looked over at James. Normally, James and I would pretend to be a couple whenever we were needed at a formal event. It felt weird seeing him dance with someone other than me, but he was happy, and that's all that mattered. _

_Just then, he stopped dancing and walked up to me. He was looking at me funny, as if I was crazy. "Jess?"_

_Then, Meowth appeared beside him. "Jessie, would ya git up?"_

_Get up? What did he mean?_

Then, I woke up to James and Meowth standing over me. "Are you okay? It's not like you to sleep in this late."

I took a moment to regain my bearings. That was quite an eventful dream. "Uh- yeah, I'm fine. What time is it?"

"10:30." He replied. We were late for work. Not that it really mattered, we own the truck after all.

"Why didn't you wake me up sooner?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

"Well, um, you normally wake me and Meowth up in the morning... we just woke up a couple minutes ago." He said embarrassed, if I wasn't so tired, I'd slap him. He then smiled at me before handing me a paper plate with a makeshift meal consisting of a fried egg and some berries. "We made breakfast!" He said happily.

I simply laughed before beginning to eat. I tried to eat and get ready quick, as we were behind schedule. I then remembered that today was James' big day. "Hey James, why are you still here? Don't you have shopping to do?"

"There's no rush." He replied simply. It was obvious to me that he was in a really great mood, although trying to hide it. "I figured I could help you out at the malasada truck for a couple hours before I head out."

Although some help opening would be nice, today's James' day, and I don't want him to have any access stress on his mind. "Nope. James, you have loads of preparing to do, and I don't want to add work to your 'to-do' list."

James sighed, knowing he wouldn't win this argument. "Can I at least walk there with you before you banish me to the shops?" I just laughed and nodded my head.

The walk there was as ordinary as ever, other than James' unusual talkativeness. I loved seeing him so happy. Just being around him gave me this happy feeling inside which I couldn't quite understand.

On the contrary, Meowth was unusually quiet. He kept looking up at me while James was talking, as if he was trying to read my mind. I think he was trying to tell me something, but I didn't know what. I brushed that aside, as we were approaching the malasada truck. I wished James good luck before we part ways and I headed into the truck.

I was suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion, and didn't feel like opening anymore. I pushed that aside and got to work anyway, there was lots to do and not much time to do so.

The day dragged on, Meowth and I were overwhelmed by the lunch rush, but we were making it through. James' absence screwed up our whole routine, as Meowth had to work up front while I cooked... let's just say Meowth was not good with costumers. This paired with the fact that I kept burning the malasadas only made the day worse.

After the lunch rush was over, I was finally able to sit down. Although we've had busier days, I was completely out of it today. I was nauseous and dizzy and I didn't know why. I must be coming down with something.

"Ey Jess, why don't chu work the register while I cook?" Meowth asked.

"I told you already! You're not allowed to cook! It violates code and quite frankly I'd rather not have your fur in our food!" I said that a bit louder than I meant to, but I think I got my point across.

"I can't help it if I shed! I'd still make better tasting food den you! Besides, I can't take all de 'oh my gosh! A talking meowth!' Every 10 seconds!"

"I can't take all of your complaining every 10 seconds!"

He then walked up to the window and closed the shutter, after jumping up a couple times to reach the handle. "Fine den, we'll close up early!"

"Fine!"

He gave me that wierd trying-to-read-my-mind look again. Why did he keep looking at me like that?! I just glared at him in response and he stopped. I continued to sit down and breathe for a moment before I got to cleaning up. Of course, Meowth didn't help one bit.

I had just finished cleaning, and Meowth and I were getting ready to go home, when James walked in. He was all dressed up in an expensive looking white suit- it looked just like the one in my dream. How did he even afford that?

"Hey, I'm in a bit of a rush, but I wanted to check up on you guys. Why'd you close up so early?"

I gave him the short answer. "Today was just... tiring. We both needed some rest."

"Ah I see. I'm sure you both deserve some rest. Don't stay up to wait for me." He said as he put his hand gently on my shoulder. I suddenly felt even more nauseous than before. He somehow knew, as he always does. "Are you alright Jess?"

I answered a bit too quickly. "Yup! Perfectly fine!" I forced a smile. "Good luck tonight!"

It almost seemed as if he had completely forgotten about his date. "Right- uhh... see you later!" With that, he left towards town. Meowth and I headed to home base.

The sun was just beginning to set and we already had a nice warm campfire going. I let wobbuffet and mimikyu out of their pokéballs and they began playing happily together with bewear and the other wild pokémon in the area. I zoned out watching the pokémon playing.

"Ey Jess you okay?" Meowth asked me.

I was annoyed at him for interrupting my daze. "Yes! I'm fine! Why does everyone keep asking that??!!"

"Sorry, I just t'ought it'd be pretty sucky seeing the guy you like goin out wit anodda goil."

**Whenever I like someone, I get physical symptoms, as well as subconscious signs before I consciously *know* you know? That's kinda what I was trying to convay. Hope you enjoyed! See ya tomorrow!**

**Luv ya!**

**Buh-bye!**


	3. 3

**Chapter three!! Review and all that jazz blah blah blah LETS GO!**

"Sorry, I just t'ought it'd be pretty sucky seeing the guy you like goin out with anodda goil."

Wait, did he just say what I thought he said? "'The guy I like'? Are you referring to James?!"

The scratch cat scoffed. "Who do ya t'ink I was referring to?"

I couldn't help but laugh a bit. Me and James? Never. "Meowth, I literally set him up with that girl! What? Why? I can assure you, I don't like James that way! Why would you even think that?"

Meowth couldn't tell if I was asking rhetorically or not, but he answered anyway. "I've ben in love b'fore, I ain't stupid." I genuinely had no idea what he was on about. I don't think I've ever shown any romantic interest toward James and I certainly did not plan to. I listened to him ramble on nonetheless. "I undastand, wen ya love someone, ya jus want em tah be happy."

"Meowth, you're talking nonsense. I don't like James. I'm going to bed, you should too." I sighed before getting into my sleeping bag. I'd been looking forward to bedtime all day, but now that I was there, I couldn't stop... shaking? I must have a fever or something, I'd been feeling like crap all day. Whatever. I forced myself to go to sleep.

Before I fell completely asleep, I heard James come back. I opened my eyes slightly to make sure it was him. "How'd it go?" I asked him, still half asleep.

"Oh Jessie, it was wonderful. I'll tell you all about it in the morning." He said as he squated down to touch my hair. "You're shaking. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I think I'm sick." I say. A look of both concern and amazement crossed his face. I guess it wasn't like me to let a common cold of flu ruin my day. Nor was it like me to _tell_ him I was sick, in the past I wouldn't admit to being sick no matter how bad it was.

"Well, I won't stop you from getting some rest. We have a long day of twerp chasing tomorrow, and we need you at your best." That's what I normally told him whenever he was complaining, it just felt weird to have him saying it to me. I didn't think about it too much before I fell asleep due to pure exhaustion.

**CHAPTER DONE! Sorry it's so short /**

**Luv-ya!**

**Buh-bye!**


	4. Coincidence

**Hiya! Happy Valentine's Day! Thanks for the review! :3**

I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. I had that weird dream again.

It was a beautiful sunny day, but that made my headache worse. James and Meowth were still asleep, as per usual. I decided to find some food for when they wake up, and prepare the balloon with our supplies. I let out wobbuffet and mimkyku. Although they're not very helpful, they kept me company.

James and Meowth woke up shortly after I finished breakfast, while I was planning out this weeks plan to capture pikachu. I was too focused on the preparations that I didn't even notice them. That was, until James tapped me on the shoulder. It scared me so much I could've jumped out of my skin.

"Don't do that!" I told him. Without looking, I sent a slap in his general direction.

Now it was his turn to be scared and jump back. "Geez! I just came over here to see what your doing."

"Well, while you two were sleeping the day away, I got a head start on today's big scheme. _And _I made breakfast." It was rare to see me cooking -hence the burnt malasadas- so James was pleasantly surprised.

"Oh wow! Looks like someone's feeling like themself again!"

I nodded, although my head still hurt like hell. We headed to the burnt-out campfire to eat. I made eggs and berries just like James had yesterday, there's not much variety in this forest. I was actually quite proud of my cooking today, as the eggs weren't _too _burnt and I picked the best berries I could find. For the most part we'll eat whatever, but it was always nice to have something decent tasting.

Meowth was clearly not proud of my cooking, as he was making over exaggerated faces as he ate his egg. "If you have something to say, say it." I told him.

"Eggs are burnt."

"They are not!"

"Are too"

"I'll burn you, you egg head!"

James stopped eating to stop us. "Would you two stop it?! Meowth, Jessie was nice enough to make us breakfast, stop complaining. Jessie, take some constructive criticism every once in a while."

Ugh. I hate it when he did that. Lectured us like we're children. Whatever. I continued to eat.

I then remembered last night's events. "So, James, how was your little date?" I asked him.

He immediately perked up with happiness. "Oh Jessie, it was wonderful!" He took his last bite of food before continuing. "First, she showed up in the most beautiful blue dress! We talked for a while and I realized we have so much in common, but we're also different enough for it to be interesting, you know? We kinda complement eachother I guess. I'm sorry, I'm talking too much. Anyway, we ate our food and it was great! Have you tried that new noodle place? Delicious! After, it was time to go, and she said she wanted to see me again! We planned out second date for Sunday. That's fine, right?"

"Sunday as in tomorrow? yeah, I guess that's fine." I said. It was so unlike James to talk so much, and it was hard to keep up, but I liked hearing him so happy. Although there was something I wanted to know about the 'blue dress'. "And about the dress, was it baby blue and floor length? With sequins from the neckline to the waist?"

He gave me a weird look. I guess that was a random question. "Yes...why?"

Just like in my dream! I knew it! "I've um, wanted to get something like that for myself... for this contest thing I signed up for..." I lied.

He no longer looked suspicious. "Oh okay! I'll ask Jenn where she got it! Although, if you really want blue, you should probably go for a darker colour to match your eyes, and it'd look better with your complexion."

I just nodded in response. Classic James.

After breakfast was done and over with, I told the rest of my team about today's plan: a good old fashioned pokémon battle. No secret weapon, no surprises, no funny business. James thought it was risky, and if I'm being honest, I thought it was risky as well. In reality, we didn't stand a chance against that stupid kid.

We had learned so much in our many years of working together, and yet we were no match for Ash's unique battle style. Not only that, he _always _got his way, no matter how unlikely it was. The world practically revolved around him. It's rigged. We'd never win.

But, we were desperate. Nothing else ever worked in our favour, so why don't we play by the rules for once? It was worth a shot.


	5. Victorious

**Hiya! Soo... Uh fifth chapter...cool!**

"Prepare for trouble!"

"Make it double!"

"To protect the world from devastation,"

"To unite all people within our nation,"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love,"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Team rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"Meowth! Das roight!"

Ash growned. "What do you two want?"

"Oh, you know what we want..." I said, eying pikachu in as menacingly as I could.

"Pikachu, use-"

"Ah, ah, ah!" James interrupted.

"We challenge you to a pokémon battle!" I said.

"Make that a double battle!" James added. I thought that was pretty clever.

"You want to battle?" The twerp asked.

James and I nodded our heads. "A good ol' double battle. No tricks, no funny-business." Meowth told him.

"If we win, you hand over Pikachu." I stated.

"And if I win...?"

"We won't bother you anymore. Ever." James said. We hadn't agreed on that, but we wouldn't keep our word anyway, so it didn't matter.

"Deal!" Ash said. The rest of his twerp crew gasped at his rashness, but we predicted it.

James and I had planned out our battle, even rehearsing it a couple times. The twerp chose Pikachu and Rowlet, and we chose Wobbuffet and Mareanie. Mareanie was our main attacker, and Wobbuffet protected them both with it's mirror coat and counter. We were getting more and more confident by the second. Mareanie was getting loads of hits in on both pokémon: a spike cannon here, a sludge bomb there, we even used our Z-move! We could actually win this!

Rowlet was the first to faint, after we used Black Hole Eclipse. We thought Pikachu was out too, but he got back up, more determined than ever. Unfortunately for the twerps, Ash was incredibly stubborn, deciding that he first had to get rid of Wobbuffet, but that blue blob was stronger than he looked. After getting hit with counter and spike cannon simultaneously, Pikachu was out of the battle.

We...won! What? How? James, Meowth and I were stunned, so were our pokémon. Was this a dream? We just kind of stood there, looking at eachother, then ash, then our pokémon. What now?

Our answer came quickly, as bewear scooped us up and brought us back to home base. A brief feeling of rage crossed over me, but was quickly replaced with happiness. We beat Ash in a battle, fair and square! All this time I thought we weren't improving, but it was now clear to me that we were. All these years hadn't been for nothing! James and I had grown so much as villains, and as people, and our teamwork today really proved it.

Once we arrived, it was still early in the afternoon. James and Meowth were treating me as if I was angry, staying a safe distance away and being fairly quiet. I _should_ be mad, we just stood there like idiots instead of grabbing Pikachu. But, I wasn't mad, I was proud of our team and wanted to reward us.

"We did well today. Why don't we take the rest of the day off? Maybe go window shopping or something?" I could tell right away that James was on board. Window shopping is something we did every once in a while for fun. It sounds kind of boring, but it was always fun to see what the shops had to offer. Walking around, playing with trinkets, and trying on clothes was just about the most fun thing we could do, considering how broke we were. Meowth didn't really like it for some reason, but we would often drag him along with us.

"Yeah, that sounds awesome!" James exclaimed. I loved when he got unreasonably excited about things like this.

Meowth groaned. "Can I stay behind dis time? I'm kinda toired."

I thought for a moment. "You know what? You did a good job today. Do whatever you want." His face immediately brightened up. I didn't give him praise very often, but I was trying to work on that. He deserves it.

**Sooo uhhh I just wanna clarify that this chapter is just inspired by that one episode when they genuinely beat ash, and is not supposed to follow the same storyline. Sooo yeah. Hope you enjoyed and be sure to leave a review!**

**Luv ya!**

**Buh-bye!**


	6. 6

This was so nice. I loved having a friend as great as James. We could just allow ourselves to goof off in front of eachother, without a care in the world about the people who were probably staring.

And goof off we did! We deserved it, after all. Our impeccable teamwork shown off earlier that day needed to be rewarded.

First, we were off to the clothing shops. We always hit these first, so we had the energy to try on clothes.

We started off in a competition to find the fanciest outfits, keeping them secret until we revealed ourselves wearing these very expensive clothes. I wondered what it'd be like to be able to afford these outfits. Who cares? They're all tacky anyway. We both laughed hysterically after exiting our respective changing rooms. We looked in the mirror and pretended we were a rich couple, trying to look as snobbish as possible.

Rinse and repeat, this time we tried to find the most ridiculous outfits. Next we chose clothes for eachother, and the results were haularious! We actually got kicked out of the store for 'being too disruptive'!

Next, we headed to this shop that sold the most ridiculous 'as seen on tv' products. There was always new items there for us to try... and laugh at. As soon as we walked in, we saw a giant poster of a girl wearing a bright orange rubber thing over her mouth. Apparently it was supposed to make her lips bigger? Either way, it looked haularious. As we explored the new products, we noticed that they were letting people try out hover boards! We had to get in on that!

Long story short, we fell... _a lot_. But we also had tons of fun. That was, until James flew head-first into a pyramid of boxes. He was fine, nothing a bit of ice wouldn't fix, but we had to re-pile all of the boxes.

After that, we decided to dine-and-dash at a nearby sushi restaurant. It was one of the few restaurants in town that we weren't banned from. We both sat down, ordered and peacefully waited for our food to arrive.

"Say, Jess?" James started.

"Hm?"

"Thank you for helping me find the courage to ask Jenn out, I know you didn't do much, but you really helped."

"Oh... No problem. It's about time you had a girlfriend." I joked.

James laughed a bit. "You know, you're like a sister to me... You always help me out when I need it, even if I don't know that I need it."

I suddenly got very nauseous. I honestly thought I would vomit. Dispite this, I smiled.

James' expression changed to concerned. "Are you alright?" He asked. How could he tell???

"Yeah, I'm just feeling a bit off today." I lied. At this moment, I wished James couldn't see through me. I hated being pitied, but at the same time, it did feel kind of nice having him worry about me. What am I saying?

"Is that all?"

I forced a smile. "Yup! I'll be back to normal after a good night's rest." I said, a little _too _enthusiastically.

James frowned and shook his head. "No Jessie, that's what you said yesterday. Are you sure you don't need me to take you to the doctor?"

Now I was getting a bit annoyed. Imagine being so weak that you go to the doctor with a stomach ache. "I'm fine!" I raised my voice a bit, startling James. I sighed and tried to calm down a bit. "Let's just see what another day brings us."

"Alright."

I silently cursed myself out. We were having a nice heart-to-heart, but then I ruined it by being sick. How could he even tell that I was nauseous?

Just then, the waitress came back with our food. "For you, sir." She gave James his food first. "And for your lovely lady." She passed me my food and smiled. "Do you need anything else?"

James and I shook our heads, as we had already started eating.

"You two lovebirds enjoy!"

We stopped eating to laugh at her comment. People always said stuff like that whenever we were seen in public together, and it always made us laugh a bit. It was extra cute coming from the small, old waitress. She was nice, if we had the money I'd tip her.

After we finished eating, we waited for the perfect moment to leave. We chose the booth closest to the back doors in advance, so when the moment arose, we were gone.

On the way out, I noticed that Jenn had been sitting in the booth across from us, with what I could only assume to be her family. I wonder how long she was there. We made eye contact for a moment, but I didn't think much of it and we left.

**Luv ya!**

**Buh-bye!**


	7. Family

***James' POV***

I woke up this morning and immediately remembered my second date with Jenn was today! I was excited but also a bit nervous. This time it was a lunch date, so it would be a bit more casual, which I was thankful for.

I got up to see that Jessie and Meowth were already awake, and arguing, as per usual. It seemed pretty heated, as they were shouting pretty loudly and I was surprised I hadn't woken up sooner due to their loudness. All their shouting was a lot to take in at my waking moment, I wanted to stop this.

"Would ya stap yellin? He's awake!"

"Fine!"

Welp, looks like they sorted things out by themselves. I got out of my sleeping bag to join them. "What were you even arguing about this early?" I asked, knowing the answer would probably be pretty stupid.

"None of your business!" Jessie shouted. I guess it was something too stupid to admit. Judging by the blush on her face, she had lost that argument. Point one for Meowth.

"Alright." I stated, a pinch of defeat in my tone. "What time is it anyway?"

"10:42." Meowth answered. My date was scheduled for 11:30, so I should probably start getting ready.

Still half asleep, I put on some clothes. I didn't have much of a wardrobe to choose from, so I wore the white button-up from our first date paired with my usual jeans.

"So, what are you guys going to do while I'm out?" I asked, just to make conversation.

"_We_ are going to finally capture that twerpish pikachu, without you getting in our way!" Jessie responded confidently. It was nice that she was feeling better.

I over exaggerated my laugh. "The chances of the three of us capturing pikachu are low, there's no way you can do it without me!" While I admired her determination, what I said was true.

"Well, when we inevitably succeed, you'll eat your socks!"

At this point, I nearly burst out laughing. "Jessie, that's not the expression..." I can only assume she mixed up the expressions 'eat your words' and 'knock your socks off', but who knows with Jessie?

"What. Ever." She now looked more determined than ever. "My point is, you'll regret doubting us." She very clearly thought she won, but Meowth and I knew this wasn't the case.

"Alrighty, I gotta go, I'm going to be late, see you guys later!"

I sighed as I left. Those two sure were crazy, but I loved them.

As I walked to town, I began to feel a bit nervous. I then remembered how great our last date was, and that nervousness was quickly replaced with excitement. There was still some stuff I was unsure of, like what was I going to do about the whole 'team rocket agent' thing? I couldn't tell Jenn that I was in Team Rocket, nor could I tell her that I was basically homeless at this point. Whatever. It was nice to put that part of myself aside and just focus on her.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, Jenn was peacefully waiting for me at the door. She didn't look impatient or inconvenienced at all! In fact, she actually seemed happy to see me. This made me very happy, and made me forget about all that stuff I was worrying about earlier.

We happily entered the restaurant together, then went out the back door and sat at the back patio. A waitress took our orders before returning into the restaurant.

"So, how are things?" She asked me.

"Things are great actually! How about you?"

"Great! I went out with my family last night and it was so nice!" On our first date I learned that she had just arrived in Alola in vacation with her family, and it was so cute seeing her get so excited about little things in this region. Her childlike excitement reminded me of Jessie in a way. "Have you tried that sushi place down the road? It's really good!" Her tone seemed a bit nervous as she brought up this topic. Although I don't want her to feel nervous around me, I also found it quite cute and endearing in a way.

"Oh yeah, Jessie and I went there yesterday, it was really good!" I hoped that she didn't see us yesterday, as it was the same restaurant at seemingly the same time. Why was I worried she'd seen us? I had no reason to be concerned, but I was.

"Hm, what was the occasion?"

"We were doing well at the malasada place, so we decided to reward ourselves. Meowth was gonna come, but he didn't want to." I obviously didn't mention Team Rocket, or us beating the twerps, but we technically weren't doing terrible at the malasada place, so I wasn't _technically _lying.

My mentioning of Meowth made her face light up. She asked a lot about Meowth on our first date, she thought it was so cool that he could talk and asked tons of questions about him. "And you just left him behind?!" She asked, concerned.

"Yeah?" I couldn't understand why she was so concerned, Meowth was fine. "He was tired and deserved a good rest. Besides, Jessie and I annoy him to no end." I elaborated.

She still seemed a bit concerned. "Why didn't you just bring him along in his pokéball?"

Oh, she thought Meowth was our pokémon. That explains her concern. I laughed a bit to ease her concern. "Meowth's a wild pokémon. He just hangs out with us. If we even tried to catch him he'd fury swipe our faces off." I joked.

"Ohhhh." She said, relieved. It was frowned apon to leave domestic pokémon alone, as they would not be able to defend themselves without a trainer near by. "So he just does what he wants?"

"Yep. Pretty much. Sometimes I forget that he's even a pokémon, he's just one of us." Okay, that was a weird thought. It seemed so natural just treating Meowth like a regular person, and it _was_ weird to think that he wasn't a person.

Just then, our food came. We thanked the waitress and began to eat. The food was really good, I wished that I could eat at this place more often. Unfortunately, Jessie and I were technically banned from this restaurant, so coming here with Jenn was a bit of a risk for me.

We talked a bit while eating, mainly about casual stuff like the food and weather. She told me about what she liked about this region, and I recommended some other cool spots for her to visit sometime. I flirted a bit, but she wasn't too interested and kind of blew me off.

That was strange, on our first date we were flirting a ton. Now that I thought about it, she did seem a bit distant today. I hoped everything was okay. I wondered if I had said something wrong, but decided it was best not to voice my concerns.

"So, what's your your family like? You haven't talked about them much." She asked me.

Jenn seemed to be a very family-oriented person, as she talked about her family a lot, so it was no surprise she asked about mine. I decided to be completely honest. "Honestly I haven't seen or talked to my parents in years."

"What? Why? Did something happen?" It was obvious that she regretted asking as soon as those words came out of her mouth, but she was too selfless to stop herself.

I didn't mind, in fact, I thought it was nice to have her be so concerned. "They wanted me to marry this crazy chick when I was like 10, so I left." I tried to make it sound like I didn't mind talking about this. Sure, I guess it is a bit of a sensitive topic, but I really didn't mind, they're out of my life now for the better. "Hey, family isn't always bound by blood, I definitely consider Jessie and Meowth to be my true family."

"Awe, that's sweet. It's nice that you're happy now." She smiled at me so genuinely. I liked that smile, it was the type of smile you really only see coming from people who truly care about you.

I was going to use this as an opportunity to say something cheesy, but I kept to myself as to not throw her off again.

After we finished eating and talked a bit more, it was time to leave. We split the bill and I actually paid for my food, it made me feel like a good citizen for once. We left the restaurant and parted.

Then, I realized I had no way of contacting her. "Wait!" I caught up with her quickly. This was kind of awkward. "Uh, when can I see you again?"

She looked at me sadly and put her hands on my shoulders. "James, you're a really good guy. You're nice and handsome and funny and I really have no right to turn you down. I just... really think you should revaluate your relationship with Jessie."

I was shocked, this feeling was new to me but also all too familiar. I needed to save this. "No, I-I promise it's not like that at all with Jessie. We're just friends and I do really want you in my life."

"I understand it's not like that. But I really do think you two could have something special. When we saw eachother for the first time I also really wanted you in my life, but you and Jessie made me realize that there is someone I think _I _should revaluate my relationship with back in Kanto. I just really want you to be happy and I want you to really think about what I'm saying because I like you a lot but I think Jessie's a better match for you." That speech appeared to take a lot out of her, but she seemed very certain about what she was saying.

I sighed. "Alright. Have a nice life then." I said, defeated. There was little chance of me seeing her again, as she lived in Kanto, and her family was set to go home in a week.

"You too. And please don't just blow off what I said."

I just nodded my head. Although I really didn't want to think about that conversation ever again.

**Okay I am really getting too lazy to put author's notes before and after every chapter... Soooo imma stop for now... Just thought I'd let you know...**

**Luv ya!**

**Buh-bye!**


	8. 9

I needed a walk. This rejection took a bit of a toll on me if I'm being honest. She thought I'd be better off with Jessie? Jessie most certainly doesn't like me like that, nor do I like her.

At least she realized she'd be better off with someone else. I hope they'll be happy together.

I compared my feelings for Jessie to those for Jenn. I definitely admired them both a lot, but they were the only two people I've talked to for a long time, unless you count the twerps.

I found myself walking towards the beach, which was no surprise, in Alola you could basically walk in any direction and end up at the ocean. I sat down at a beach chair and continued to reflect. I needed some time to collect myself before I had to face Jessie and Meowth again, I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

I was really confused as to why she thought that way. I suppose I did talk about Jessie a lot, but she was pretty much the only person I had to talk about. The only thing I talked to Jessie about was Jenn for the past couple of days, did that balance it out?

I decided to compare Jessie and Jenn as people. Maybe Jenn related to her in a way? They really weren't all that similar.

They were both beautiful, but that probably didn't have to do with anything. They were both from Kanto, but again, that wasn't too important. I needed to look deeper, which was difficult considering I hadn't known Jenn for that long. They were both very opinionated, and they were both pretty spunky.

They were also both really selfless, although they showed it in very different ways. Most people wouldn't describe Jessie as selfless, as not many people got to see that trait in her. She always tried to hide her selflessness, but she couldn't help it even if she tried. Jenn didn't even try to hide her selflessness, in fact, she embraced it. Hm, I guess that was their biggest similarity, and I admired them both for it.

Maybe I did like Jessie. I mean, I felt very comfortable around her. I felt similarly towards both of them, it's just my feelings for Jenn came so quickly that they seemed overwhelming.

I tried to think back to when I first met Jessie, wondering if I felt the same when I first met her. Oh boy, that was a long time ago. I couldn't really remember what I thought of her back then, but I do remember having a positive opinion of her, even though she was generally unliked in pokémon tech. Clearly something went right, as we ended up comforting eachother at the end of the semester, after we both failed that stupid test.

Thinking back to pokémon tech brought back a lot of memories. Most of those memories were terrible, but there certainly was some gems in the mix. What am I doing? Being nostalgic isn't helping my situation at all!

Whatever. Even if I do like Jessie, it doesn't really matter because she most certainly does not like me back. She was the one who set me up with Jenn, which she probably wouldn't have done if she liked me like that. Also, she practically launched herself at any attractive guy whenever there was an opportunity, so you'd think I would know by now if she liked me even a little bit.

This whole situation was hopeless. I can't like my best friend!

I wish that Jenn would've just broken up with me like a normal person instead of confusing me like this.

I realized that the sun had started setting. Jeez, I've been gone for a long time. I hoped Jessie and Meowth weren't worried about me. I guess all there was left to do was return to home base and hope things didn't get weird.


	9. Abandoned

***Jessie's POV***

"Meowth, would you just shut up? We were doomed from the start after you dropped the spare cage key!" Yet again, Meowth and I managed to botch a pikachu capture. It was mostly Meowth's fault though.

"That may be da case, but leavin teh balloon untied wasn't useful either! We're never gonna find that ting!"

Okay, I may have left the balloon untied, and it may have floated away, but Meowth should've reminded me to tie it down. "I told you, James usually ties down the balloon! Had you reminded me, we wouldn't have had that problem!"

"'_James usually ties down the balloon!'_" Meowth mocked in a high-pitched voice.

"Meowth! Would you shut up about the James thing?! I don't like him!" Meowth had been making sly remarks about me and James all day.

"Ey! I didn't say anyting about you loveboids, so clearly you're da one tinkin' about it!"

"Shut! Up!" I really, really wanted to hit him, but we made a truce earlier and I couldn't afford to be on the receiving end of another flurry of fury swipes. We had been arguing and fighting all day, which was very frustrating for me, as there wasn't much I could do to win these arguments.

I have no idea why Meowth just _decided_ that I liked him, because I didn't, not one little bit. In fact, I was happy that he was finally in a relationship with someone, so that people would stop pairing us together. Clearly Meowth didn't get the memo.

"Speakin'o Jimmy, shouldn't he be back by now?" Meowth said as he looked around. "His date is either going very good or very bad."

Now that I thought about it, it was about time for James to come back. It had to be at least 3:30 by now. I knew James really liked that girl, but a four hour date? That seemed a bit ridiculous. "Whatever." I said, despite my suspension. It was then I realized that we hadn't eaten all day. "I'm kinda hungry, can we dine-and-dash somewhere real quick?" I silently applauded myself for changing the subject so quickly. I knew Meowth was hungry, because he was always hungry, so he couldn't protest.

"Yeah, I am kinda hungry. But shouldn't we wait for James? He'll probably come back while we're gone."

"We've been waiting around for him all day, he can wait for us a couple minutes if he decides to finally get a move on." My impeccable logic came through when I needed it.

"We get it Jessie, you don't needa wait around for James."

"That's not what I- well it is... but I don't like that tone!"

"Whataya gonna do about it?" He said slyly, extending his sharp claws.

I instinctively touched the part of my face which had been mauled by Meowth's fury swipes earlier that day. I wasn't going to do anything about it. Stupid cat. "Let's Just get our food."

I did kind of wish James was here, he was the peacekeeper of our group and Meowth had been *bullying* me all day without any consequences. Sure, I did hit him a couple times, but my beautiful face was compromised by many scratch marks that would probably scar. I don't think that Meowth and I had one civil conversation all day without it ending in an argument.

We ended up going back to that sushi place from yesterday and eating there. It was definitely the most peaceful time of day for us. If Meowth and I could agree on anything, it was that this food was delicious.

By the time our meal was done and over with, it was about 4:30, and we expected to return to our campsite to see a confused James. But to both of our surprise, he hadn't came back yet.

"Ey did dis goil kidnap James or somethin?" Meowth joked.

Maybe she _did_ kidnap him. There's probably some type of bounty on our names, even though we haven't really committed any major crimes in alola yet, but maybe she recognized him from a 'wanted' poster somewhere else. Turning him in could possibly result in some personal gain.

No, that's stupid. James just really liked this girl and I guess things were getting more serious between them. James simply enjoyed her company and wanted to go further with her.

'Go further with her'? What did I mean by that? The certainly weren't getting married anytime soon.

Something about that thought made me sick. I hated thinking of James married and living with Jenn, even if she was a nice girl. I decided not to think about that anymore.

"So, whadda we do now?" Meowth asked me.

I shrugged. "I dunno." Come to think of it, we were awfully bored.

"Wanna go find teh balloon?" He suggested.

I sighed. "Ugh, can't that wait til tomorrow?"

"Jess, it could have landed anywhere!"

"Yeah, well wherever it landed it'll still be there tomorrow." I looked to Meowth, he was not convinced. "We did stuff all day, can't we just rest?"

Ew. I hated hearing that sentence coming out of my mouth. What happened to me? I felt so lazy asking for a 'rest'.

Despite the unusual request by me, he nodded his head. "In dat case, in goina sleep." With that, he went to his sleeping bag and went straight to sleep. I always wondered how he could fall asleep so quickly.

Now I was double bored. It was only 7:00, it would be weird if I went to bed now, the sun wasn't even setting yet. I could plan another pikachu capture... no, I do that every day, it would just fail anyway.

At least before I was occupied arguing with Meowth, now I literally had nothing to do.

Maybe it was time for me to find a boyfriend. I mean, I'd have someone to talk to when James isn't around, and it would be nice falling in love.

No, that wouldn't work. Haven't I learned anything? Nobody would ever love me. I guess I'm better off by myself anyway, I don't need some man getting in the way. Besides, how would I tell them I'm in Team Rocket?

Wait, how was James going to tell Jenn that he was in Team Rocket? Was he going to quit? Did he already quit? Is that why he hadn't come back yet? I didn't even get to say a proper goodbye.

Ouch. That feeling tore me apart. I almost started crying, but I stopped myself. Hadn't I learned by now? Nobody will ever love me, even those I think I can trust will eventually leave. I was stupid and naive to believe this would be different. That's just about the most important lesson my mother taught me.

My mother... oh boy. That was a can of worms which I did not feel like opening right now. Maybe I'd revisit that thought after Meowth and my pokémon inevitably leave me.

It was about 8:30 when I decided to focus on reality again. Nothing wrong with an early night. After all, the only thing I needed right now was sleep. I curled up in my cozy sleeping bag and eventually fell asleep.

I hope James has a better life with Jenn.


	10. Realization

_As James and Jenn danced around the heavily decorated gymnasium, I found myself mesmerized by their elegance. Clearly, the other people attending the dance were mesmerized as well, as they had all cleared their part of the dance floor._

_Suddenly, James broke away from Jenn, and began walking towards me. Then, he grabbed my hand and we started dancing! We've danced together before, but this time was much different, it had meaning. No longer were we dancing together to fit in with the crowd, we were dancing together by choice._

_I looked over to Jenn to see how she was reacting, expecting her to be mad or upset. To my surprise, she smiled knowingly, almost proudly at us._

_We danced around more, and I was beginning to notice how undeniably hansome he looked. I was sure that we were still being watched by everyone, but I liked it. We danced so elegantly without even trying, as if we were in a trance._

_Then, he pulled me close. He looked into my eyes, then down to my lips before closing his eyes and kissing me. He was so gentle but yet passionate. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before._

_After we broke apart, I started... Crying? I ran out of the gymnasium and into the bathroom, wanting to hide myself as soon as possible._

_Upon entering, I quickly discovered that I was not in the bathroom, but I actually had just entered the small apartment my mother and I shared. _

_She was sitting on the bed waiting for me, as if she knew I was coming. Of course she knew, she always knew. _

_I cried to her about growing up, love, feelings, and just life in general. She told me how wonderful I am, that I was strong and beautiful and able to do whatever I wanted to in life. She told me that I was heading in the right direction and things were going to get better._

_I hugged my mother and-_

Wait... My mother? My mother's dead.

Upon this realization, I was jolted awake. I quickly sat up, without even meaning to.

Meowth was right, I liked James. Ugh, I'm such an idiot! Why couldn't I have figured that out sooner?! I looked around to ensure James hadn't came back. Who am I kidding? He's with Jenn now, and probably won't be coming back.

And my mother? Why was she there? She hadn't appeared in any of my dreams since I first joined Team Rocket. I replayed the dream in my head. I saw my mother, and heard her voice. I felt a chill.

Just then, I heard a noise. It scared me so much I almost jumped out of my sleeping bag. Something was there. I prayed it was just a wild pokémon and not a person. "Hello?" I called out into the distance. I felt like an idiot.

"Jess, you're still awake?" A voice asked. That was not just any voice, it was James' voice.

"What are you doing here? I thought you quit!"

"Quit? No!" He almost laughed, then sighed as he came into view. "It's just... Things didn't go as planned with Jenn, she didn't want to see me again."

I suddenly became very dizzy, and started shivering uncontrollably. It was as if I was so invested in their relationship that this news hurt me. "Really? That's terrible!" I took a brief moment to compose myself a bit. "Are you...okay?" I reached my arms out for a hug, James needed it.

He got down to my level before hugging back. "Yeah, I'm alright. I just needed some time to think, that's why I came back so late. Sorry if I worried you guys."

"No, it's fine. We honestly didn't expect you to come back."

He broke out of the hug and looked me in the eyes. I couldn't help but be reminded of my dream. "Jessie, I'd never leave you! Promise! Even if some day we decide to quit Team Rocket, I'd still want to be in your life. You're my best friend!"

_Best friend._

Ouch. Of course. I'm such an idiot. Did I really think that something else was happening? Pathetic.

It's alright I guess, as long as he's happy. I _need_ him to be happy. "Do you want me to help you get her back? I'm sure I could help her realize how great you are, and how lucky anyone would be to have you in their life."

He looked surprised for a moment, but then he smiled weakly. "No, it's fine. It's better off this way, she had her reasons, and honestly I had mine too."

"Ah, okay." I started. "If there's anything you need, let me know. You're probably feeling pretty crappy right now." My heart hurt for him.

"Yeah, I think I just need some rest." He looked over at Meowth, who was sound asleep, then to me. "What are you doing up so late anyway?"

"Oh, nothing. Just a dream."

James looked concerned. "A bad dream?"

I recalled having terrible nightmares back when we first joined Team Rocket. James always helped me calm down enough to get back to sleep. It was quite embarrassing for me back then, but I'm grateful he was there.

I felt bad for worrying him. This time, it was a good dream... I think. "No, it was a good dream... well, a confusing one. You know how dreams are sometimes."

He nodded understandingly. "Alright, I'm going to bed now." He slid inside of his own sleeping bag, which was still rolled out from last night. "Night Jess."

"Goodnight James."

I love you.

Ew, I'm so sappy. This is hopeless.


	11. Confession?

I really didn't get much sleep. It felt like I'd been asleep for mere seconds before Meowth woke James and I up. It must've been pretty late, as Meowth would never wake up before noon on his own. He woke us up by gently and politely scratching us across our faces, to the point of bleeding.

"What was that for?!" I yelled. I was sure I looked terrible, as I barely got any sleep last night, pair that with the scratch marks all over my face and my bed-head and... yup, I looked awful.

"Youse two lazy chumps slept in, it's 1:30!"

"And? You woke up- what? Two minutes ago?!"

"Das two minutes eolier than you!"

James -the peace keeper- piped up. "Meowth, Jessie and I had a rough night, we're sorry for sleeping in."

Meowth looked as if he had just now noticed James was here, despite fury swiping him only seconds ago. Stupid cat. "Ey Jimmy, glad ta see ya didn't quit on us!" Meowth thought for a moment. I was sure that he was going to say something stupid. "And about last night... it wasn't _too_ rough, was it?" He smirked at me.

I shook my head angrily in response, as words seemed to escape me at this moment. I felt my face heat up. Was I blushing?

His grin widened. I _was_ blushing. Ugh, I'm so pathetic!

James looked at us, confused. "What's he on about?" He asked me. I was lucky he was so clueless.

Meowth opened his mouth to speak. He better not say anything. I glared at him. "Oh, it's nuthin..." He said innocently. I let out a sigh of relief.

James just shrugged before stretching and getting out of his sleeping bag. "So, what's today's agenda?" He asked me.

"We could do some twerp-tracking... maybe a couple pitfalls... let's just see what the day brings."

James nodded and headed over to where our balloon was normally parked. I completely forgot about the missing balloon. James looked at our parking spot questioningly, Meowth began to chuckle. "Hey Jess, where's the balloon?"

I was blushing again. Why was this happening? "Oh... uhh, about that..." why was I so flustered?

"Jessie let ta balloon float away!" Meowth accused.

James looked at me and laughed a bit. "How'd you manage to do that?"

"I... forgot to tie it down..." I said quietly. This was so embarrassing.

"I guess finding that balloon is the first thing on our to-do list then."

Was he mad at me? Surely not, he would never get mad over something so small. He probably thinks I'm so irresponsible right now. "Sorry." I offered.

He looked at me in disbelief before speaking. "I-It's no big deal Jess, it's an easy mistake to make."

Why was _he_ blushing? Wait, why am I blushing again? Ugh, this is so confusing! I wished things would go back to normal.

We began walking in the direction Meowth thought he saw the balloon go. We felt kind of stupid just looking around, as we really had no idea where it went. Meowth and I barely saw it leaving, and James wasn't even there, so we really were clueless.

We searched for hours. It seemed pretty pointless, but we needed transportation, and doubted Giovanni would supply us with another balloon. We really couldn't afford to lose this balloon.

Against all odds, we did eventually find that hideous looking balloon, which had landed in a clearing and was virtually unharmed. On top of that, all of our belongings were still in the basket. For once things were going our way!

By the time we were able to get into the air, the sun was already setting. We managed to waste a whole day trying to fix one stupid mistake I made. I felt like an idiot.

Despite this, I was able to enjoy the sunset. I always loved flying at this time of night. It reminded me of the time when I almost lost James to his crazy ex-fiancée, but he chose me over a life of luxury. He would never leave me. James has been the only constant in my life for as long as I can remember, and I was eternally grateful. "Hey, um, James? There's something I need to tell you." The words escaped me before I could stop them.

He leaned against the side of the balloon basket to face me. He smiled warmly, his cheeks were slightly pink. Whether it was from the cold or some other reason I didn't know. "What is it?"

What was I doing?! James was still getting over Jenn, the _last_ thing he needed was me telling him about my stupid feelings. Besides, he didn't like me anyway, so there was really no point. "Oh, uhh, the thing is..." Meowth smirked at me, I had completely forgotten he was there. I officially lost control over this conversation and it was stressing me out. What was I supposed to say now?! "Oops, looks like I completely forgot what I was going to say. Silly me!" I blurted out. That was a disaster.

Meowth began laughing hysterically, although he was trying to hide it. I swear one day I'll get him back.

"Oh, alright." He said, still smiling.

How was he acting so calm? I felt like I was going crazy, but he was acting like everything was normal. I hated this.

"If you remember, let me know, if you're up for it."

'If I'm up for it'?? Did he know? Oh my Arceus, he knows! I probably look like an idiot right now. And a coward.

If there was ever anything there, it's gone now. He probably hates me. He probably thinks I'm such a wimp! Why can't I just act normal?!

I waited for a sly remark from Meowth, but none came. I guess he pitied me.

I guess I'll just have to deal with these stupid feelings by myself. I'm sure I'll get used to them eventually, and someday I'll forget about them entirely. Then things can go back to normal.

At least I hope so.


	12. Love

**Hiya! So, I guess this is the final chapter. Honestly I didn't really know how to end this but I actually like how it turned out! Hope you enjoy! ALSO: there's a bit of a time skip in between this chapter and the last one, it's only a couple hours difference, but I thought I'd point it out**

Unsurprisingly, I couldn't sleep. I still could not believe I made a fool out of myself like that. On top of that, I ruined our entire dynamic.

I was acting pathetic all day, and I could not believe how much these stupid feelings of mine were messing with me. I really, really wanted things to go back to normal, but that was not going to happen. We had a good friendship going on, but now it's all awkward and confusing, why'd i have to ruin everything like that?

I should just leave. I mean, James would be better off without me anyway, all I ever do is ruin everything. If I just left, it wouldn't be so confusing anymore.

I wished I could just leave, but I wouldn't be able to. I was too weak to go on by myself, I _need_ James, even just as a friend- heck, even as just a coworker. Ugh I'm so weak!

Great...now I'm crying. I'm such a wimp! Luckily, James and Meowth were asleep, so they wouldn't know. I guess I should just let it out. I don't think I've cried like this since my mother left.

I do not need to think about my mother right now!

Then again, she was in my dream... maybe she was trying to tell me something. No, that's stupid. She was all positivity, nothing about this situation is positive, except for the fact that I'm positively screwed.

I tried to breathe and calm down a bit. I looked over at James, who was sound asleep. I smiled despite myself. How could he be so clueless, but yet so knowing?

Was he clueless? I mean, that remark about "being up for it" made it seem like he knew, but he was so cool about it.

James keeping it cool? Never. He was definitely clueless. Then again, maybe he was keeping his cool because he didn't like me back. I mean, even if he knew, there would be no reason for him to act differently around me if he didn't like me back.

I accepted that as my answer. He knew, and didn't care. He didn't care about me.

Not only did he not care about me, he didn't like me, not as a partner, friend, or coworker. If he hadn't been paired up with me, he wouldn't have stuck around. James, just like everyone else in my life, hated me.

How dare my own thoughts hurt me so much?!

Great, now I'm crying even harder. This shouldn't affect me as much as it is, if I hadn't been stupid enough to catch feelings, this wouldn't be happening in the first place.

I heard James move around in his sleeping bag. I prayed he wouldn't wake up. I quickly rolled over in my sleeping bag and pretended to sleep.

"Jessie? what are you doing up?" He asked groggily.

Maybe if I ignore him he'll think I'm asleep.

"I know you're awake, what's up?" He said, he sounded a little more awake this time.

I mentally prepared myself to speak. I couldn't let him know I was crying. "Nothing. Go back to sleep."

I thought I hid my crackly sad voice pretty well. James, on the other hand, heard it loud and clear. He sighed. "What's the matter?"

And the floodgates opened again. I frantically tried to stop, but ended up hyperventilating. "N-Nothing! I just, just want it to s-stop!" I really didn't think about my choice of words.

I was still turned away from him, but I could feel his concern.

"It's okay, it'll all be okay." This generic response did wonders for me.

"I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot. You should be sleeping, but you're here comforting me."

"Don't be sorry, I-"

"No! I'm probably the worst thing to ever happen to you. I ruin everything. I'm sorry I ruined everything today, I just don't know how to keep my emotions in check lately. I'm so weak."

James put his hand on my shoulder, prompting me to roll over to face him. "Jessie, don't you see? You're the _best _thing that ever happened to me! You're the strongest and smartest person I know, and you've taught me so much about myself, and changed the way I see the world." He paused before continuing. "I know feelings can be confusing sometimes, but I hope I can help you understand. Truth is, I love you. Always have. I didn't understand this before, but now it's crystal clear, you're all I've ever wanted."

What do I even say now? Everything was perfect. The fog in my mind has lifted and everything seemed so simple. This felt so perfect! "I-I love you too James. I love you." It felt so nice to say. I want to say it all the time! I hope I have many more opportunities to say that some more.

James smiled. He scooted his sleeping bag closer to mine and kissed me on the forehead. We smiled at eachother and began to lean in.

It was as if some magical force had brought our faces together. I just enjoyed the moment and closed me eyes. Then, it happened. We kissed. This truly indescribable moment left me in a trance. I felt so warm and fuzzy inside. This was the best moment of my entire life, it felt so new and exciting, but also so familiar and safe. I wished I could stay there forever.

We reluctantly broke apart. The moment was gone just like that, but the love was still there. I was loved.

"Goodnight Jess." He said. I had completely forgotten it was this late. It had to be at least 3am at this point.

"Night James." I smiled and sighed happily. I couldn't help myself, I had to say it again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

He did love me. He really, truly loves me.

**Sooo, that's that I guess. I was originally trying to base this off a personal experience, but my creativity got the best of me and I made it super dramatic XD **

**Luv ya!**

**Buh-Bye!**


End file.
